40 Things I Have Learned in 40 Years part 2
21. Stop caring what ‘they’ say. It is much more fun and fulfilling to create things that passionately leap forward and need to escape from you than forcing yourself to create what you think they want to hear. When you are coming from a place that honors your passions and desires, what you bring to the world is authentic and connects with people on a deeper level.
22. Ignoring yourself is a form of neglect. As a recovering people pleaser, it is important for me to remember that the person I hurt by not being true to my needs and desires is me.
23. It isn’t the ‘thing’ we want, it’s the feeling that the ‘thing’ will bring us. When I talk with clients, they all have different goals they want to achieve. get out of debt, go back to school, start a business, make more money, travel, etc. But when we really distill their desires down, I find there is just a small handful of feelings that lie behind all of the desires. Freedom, Adventure, Fulfillment.
24. Sit quietly with yourself daily. The busier and the noisier we are, the more disconnected we become from our inner voice, our desires, and our truth. The gift of meditation offers you an opportunity to meet your true self.
25. The way to getting what you want is to be grateful for what you already have. Gratitude is the soil that cultivates your intentions and desires. Be thankful for everything that you have in your life, and those gifts will begin to multiply.
26. You are enough. The limiting self talk that says you are too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, to quiet, too loud, too old, too young, is complete bullshit. You are perfect just the way you are, and you have something to bring to this world to make it a better place.
27. Live life your way. This keeps coming up over an over for me in different variations, but it is an important point. Don’t live your life or make choices based on what you think your sisters’ mothers’ uncles’ neighbors’ pastor might think. #1, you are assuming you know what they think, and #2, what they think doesn’t matter. Sometimes we have people in our lives that think they know what is best for us, bear in mind that what they think is based on the life they lived and quite possibly the regrets they have. You have a different reality and experience than they do.
28. Everyone on this planet is looking for the same thing – happiness. Theirs probably looks different than yours. Some people may wish to live in a huge house in the mountains. Others may dream of a small hut near the ocean (me!) Each of us have an individual definition of our own happiness. Keeping up with the Jones’s or doing something just because society says you should is a sure fire way to feel flat and disappointed in life. An example may be buying the big home in the mountains with a 30 year mortgage, but having to work so many hours to afford the house that you are never home to enjoy it.
29. Sometimes there is no reason why or a deeper meaning. Sometimes shit just happens. You can get so caught up in trying to “figure out” what the significance is to something, that you get stuck in your head and forget to be in your heart space.
30. There is nothing wrong with me. I am not broken or in need of being fixed. This can be a big deal in a spiritual journey. We can self help ourselves to death. Ever find yourself in the aisle of the bookstore where you can be dependent no more, learn to relate to you mate all while flushing the fat. Sometimes we forget to remember that a spiritual journey is one where we are meeting our true nature. Not one where we need to “fix” what we perceive as bad.
31. I am perfectly imperfect as I am. So difficult to accept, but so beautifully true.
32. Self inquiry and self realization are life long practices. There is always another layer and another facet to explore. It’s like showering, you don’t shower once and are good for the rest of your life. We have experiences and relationships and each one shows us new information about our Self and an opportunity to continue to grow.
33. Creativity is what I am, not what I do or achieve. Every day we create. We create our outfit, our meals, our route to work, our entertainment, and even our dreams. We are creating all of the time.
34. Inspiration always comes when I am furthest from my desk. Because of #34. When I stop trying, I am my essence – which is creative.
35. Eat chocolate. If something makes you happy don’t deny yourself a little pleasure once in awhile.
36. You wont get to your destination of you try to plan each detail. Instead trust that the next step will appear. When you use your GPS to get somewhere, the GPS doesn’t tell you the next turn until you are almost there. If you insist on planning every detail, you may miss some wonderful and unexpected opportunities and detours into beautiful places that you never knew existed. Be open to the divine plan.
37. Fear is the cock blocker of dreams. We can always measure what we may loose by going after our dreams. What we can’t measure is what we may gain. Our subconscious uses fear as a way to “protect” us from the unknown. Interestingly, fear and excitement have the same physiologic response in the body. When we breathe into the fear, and trust the journey to our dreams, we shift that fear to excitement.
38. Life is too short to live anywhere but the present. So many of us spend so much time worrying about the future, or reliving that past, that we miss life. Life only happens in the present moment. Participate in it!
39. Other people’s actions, opinions, and words have nothing to do with me. Their actions are based entirely on their experiences, judgements, and perhaps regrets. The only person’s approval that matters is our own.
40. I am only just beginning! I have heard so many people talk about turning 40 like it was a curse. With all of my experiences, I see this as the start of the best part of my life — so far!